Monday, March 28, 2022

Bullied

Hubs and I were having this conversation tonight....about bullies.  And how we were bullied.  I've got to tell you folks, I was bullied and it still affects me.

If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know that I grew up in Mississippi.  We moved there when I was 5, and all traces of New England (where my parents are from) were wiped away.  We lived there until 6th grade, in various and sundry towns, and then we moved.

To Connecticut.

Which, I'm sure, for my parents was a going home.  My father never pronounced an "R" (pahk the cah in hahvad squayuh....otherwise known as a Boston accent, or a non-rhotic R).  I think they were happy to be going home to be near their elderly parents.

My brother and I suffered.  I think me the most. We moved to this tiny-ass town outside of Ledyard, CT called Gails Ferry.  My Dad worked at the giant shipyard many miles away, but my parents always wanted to live in the country, which was a good thing in general.  The bus I took to school had this evil boy....Robert.

That boy teased me and bullied me every.single.day until I refused to go to school.  He called me a hick, a redneck, dumb, stupid, idiot, and many other things that broke me.  I am a Southerner.  And that boy made me feel like being that, growing up that, was the worst possible thing that could happen to a person ever.  And some little tiny part of me, the insecure part...believed him.

Long story short, I refused to go to school.  The next year, in the middle of the school year, my parents moved us back to Mississippi.  I don't know the back story, but we went back.  And I was embarrassed to be what I was.....a smart young girl with a long Mississippi drawl.  I decided the accent was the problem, and I worked very hard to lose it.  I gave up a part of MYSELF because of this boy who bullied me.

I still mourn it.

But you know what ya'll?  I still say ya'll.  I love Southern food and culture.  I abhor many things about the South, but those things aren't me. And I know...in my SOUL of SOULS that I am not the things that boy called me.

Fuck you, Robert.  Wonder how YOUR life turned out....

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